My 3 sisters came west side to visit. Due to our age difference this is one of the first times the four of us have ever hung out together alone. This is the kind of shit that goes down. Eldest sister took the shot. Us three just went full dick head photo shoot, even sourcing colour matching props #resourceful , while unsuspecting customers waited for a spare dressing room. #sistersaredoingitforthemselves #yesiboughtit #4caruanawomenisalotofcaruanawomen
So I had a slump. Put a post up on insta about it, and a lot of people got in touch with me on the DMs to check if I was OK. So beautiful. So much love in the face of vulnerability. Never ceases to amaze me. A few friends even said “Just let me know if there is anything I can do!” A familiar phrase right? One I often say when a friend is in a time of need. However, here’s the thing; When I’m down or slipping, or anxious, or depressed, as much as I am in need of support, I can’t think of one way that anyone can help me. That’s part of the condition of the isolation of the whole fkn thing:: “no one can reach me/help me/hear me/support me... I AM THAT I AM ALONE” Then, something a bit radical happened yesterday: 1. A friend came over unannounced and lit my fire to warm my neglected house, and then left. 2. Another friend came over and put a load of unasked for shopping on my bench and some home made pasta, passata and hummus. Quick cuppa, and then left. 3. Another friend put 2 frozen meals into my freezer. I didn’t even see her. She came in while I was out, put them in my freezer, instructed my sick kid who was coughing and spluttering on the couch to let me know they were there, and left. . I have learnt how to be a better friend through these simple but very powerful gestures. I am reminded that sometimes I have to gently shoulder my way in when someone is struggling and perform an act of uninvited kindness, rather than asking them to guide me from their already overwhelmed state, in how I can help them. . My state is mercurial at the moment. Flashes of panic, bliss, exhaustion, calm, love, grief, isolation and connection. I try to let each of them pass, and not grip at the ‘good’ ones and reject the ‘bad’ ones. I can feel a strobing return. . Thank you to all of the people who have been reaching out. All of you generous souls you offered help. I feel very loved by my community near and far. To those who elbowed in yesterday, and then graciously exited, your intuition was profound and I am your humbled and grateful recipient and student.
My mental health took a dive on the weekend. I felt very isolated, panicked, weepy. I was craving connection but ironically felt somewhat allergic to the idea of talking to anyone or being around people in general. I just wanted to sit quietly and attend to small details. Chop wood. Tend the fire. Sit by the river. Drink tea... very slowly. Today I spent the day in the garden with a friend. Making good. Feeding veggie beds. Planting fruit trees. All day long today I looked pretty much exactly as hot as I did in this photo that Bo Wong took for The Plant Hunter some years ago. Yep I looked this hot and glamorous while I dug holes and handled sheep shit, raked chicken hay, rode the ride on mower etc** anyway. Short story loooong... I feel a bit better. A bit more intact. A bit less frantic and a bit more dirt under my nails variety of grounded. You know what, I think I finally have a rough sketch of a road map so I can find my way back to myself when I get lost. . **I did NOT actually garden like this.. I looked much like the sheep shit I was shoveling yesterday while in the garden.. but I felt like this at times when I was swinging an axe and splitting fire wood, so yeah.. same thing really!
Coupla shows added in Far North Queensland and less far North Queensland but still a bit far north. . . 9th November: Tanks Arts Centre, Cairns with local choir of Lovelies newly formed and named O.K. Chorale fearlessly led by the one and only Trish Mo of Secret Tuesdays 10th November: Airlie Beach Music Festival (with what looks like about a million rock n roll legends) Tanks Arts Centre Airlie Beach Festival Of Music Spender Virginia Bott
Found some of my old writing books. Brother Michael check out my 6 year old self’s level of mega adoration, that I tapped while writing this, and reflecting on growing up with all of your heroes! Nothing’s changed. I’d still go to great lengths just to see you laugh. Not too sure you could do the slow elevator lift with me any more. Michael Caruana
Yeah. Just hanging out in a grassy hill with some HIGH QUALITY HUMANS... but why???? Because The Seed Fund FUTURE MAKERS workshop is happening again. It is open to: SELF MANAGED ARTISTS MANAGED ARTISTS EMERGING MANAGERS It is a 4 day facilitated conversation.... some people call it a “GAME CHANGER” some like to call it “INCREDIBLE” or “LIFE CHANGING” some even say “INSPIRATIONAL”.... you could even make up your own brand new word for it! So get on it! Are you a Seed Alumni? Did we meet there. Shout out in the comments section below and let me know the year you were there as well!!! Oh yeah and SPREAD THE WORD! 📸 Nick Mckinlay the great. http://www.theseedfund.org/2020funding
Recently I was in The Netherlands and I found this pillow (and regrettably resisted buying it) that was my doppelgänger. Meeting it was like... excuse me... do I know you... kind of vibe. We got chatting. Turns out we had HEAPS in common. It’s true. What you seek is also seeking you. It was a great brush with fate and destiny that I will treasure forever. Proof, once again, that magic is real. I have A LOT of photos of myself and this cushion to keep me going until we meet again.
See this guy.. Mr Tommy Spender.... he is my dear friend. A true comrade. During our 17 year friendship he has brought me great joy, truck loads of laughter, freaky wisdom and tender solace. At 30,000 feet he has talked me off the edge of sheer panic, on stage we seek to dig deep, love large and lock in to the point of scowling and nodding simultaneously, in life we have each other’s back so hard that we require constant chiropractic care. With eyes as crackling blue as the sky, and a heart as golden as the wattle he is a treasure to me.... and today we get to celebrate his BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU GORGEOUS BEAST! I love you very very much, and I’m very proud to stand beside you on stage and bang drums to your awesome jangly guitar rhythm goodness, and throw our roaring voices into the wild void, and I am SO EXCITED to share these songs that we have made together. To know you is to love you Tommy. I hope this next year is a beautiful journey of self discovery and wonderment at the diamond that you are.... Also.. check out the 2nd pic where we got a standing ovation at Red Rocks Ampitheatre! Good times behind us and good times ahead my friend. 📸 Nick McKinlay Spender
NEW SONGS AND NEW SHIT COMING TO LIGHT!!!! So here you go! QLD AND NSW first cabs off the rank!!! VERY excited about rolling into some of the cutest town halls we ever did see... with a little FREE Sunday arvo sesh thrown in at Hotel Brunswick in Brunswick Heads NSW for good measure. On this little run we are working with choirs who applied through our CALLING ALL CHOIRS call out we did. FKN CUTIES. All tix details at mama kin spender dot love. 📸 @nick_mckk #areyoulisteningmks These shows have been made possible by support from Australia Council for the Arts
Mama Kin Spender are heading up north this Spring we are excited to be activating beautiful community spaces with some new friends on our ‘Are You Listening’ tour. Together with Insingc Choir, New World Rhythm Choir, Mouth Orchestra and Peace'n'Choir we are set to create magic around QLD and can’t wait to see you all! Check out our website for ticket details https://www.mamakinspender.love
After a wave of beautiful responses... here is the full video of John and I singing 'Losing You' at Amsterdamse Bostheater shot by the wonderful Leesa Ellem. I really want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has posted such beautiful words of encouragement and love. It has helped my jet lag no end!
For the past 20 years of our relationship I have often joined John on tour. Mostly to minimize our time apart, especially when the kids were young and they seemed to grow and change with every long sleep! I haven’t always found the road easy. It is a regimented life, a workplace which isn’t always conducive to a stable family life. I am just home from 2 weeks of being in the road with him and our kids in Europe and the tide of love and gratitude and “I see you and I fkn love you” is very high. It’s a bittersweet feeling upon departure. I’d rather say good bye under diff conditions... like “you’re shitting me and I’m ready for some space”. Less risk. Less exposure. With all the coming and going my skin has gotten thick, a little too thick at times. A little too protected. We sang this song together to an incredible audience in Amsterdam at @bostheater. I’d been teary about leaving all day. But it was sweet medicine to sing this song together. Our kids side of stage. Feeling the rolling love from the audience. xxx
It took me ages and I almost put my back out trying to take this photo of myself which I was trying to show this awesome wrap around full length dress that Constance Hall just sent me in the post. Shout out to spontaneous generosity, especially when it comes by post!!! Shout out to “I see you over there”. Shout out to how do you take such effortless selfies!!! I watched Constance dancing on that show once when I was visiting my mum. And my Mum, who birthed 6 kids, kept saying (insert Maltese accent filter here) “Look at her. Look at her. She has a lot of kids too and see how strong she is. She is like me.” We then talked about the outfits, and how Mum would look great in them, and how she probably would still win it if she went on now in all of her 85 year glory! Thanks for the dress and more importantly the inspo to be unashamedly me, Con you wild n wonderful human.