Y'all!! We met the goal!!! The kickstarter for my new album to cry to, Grief Creature, continues until July 6th! This is the quickest way to pre-order your physical copies, and gives you an opportunity to get some one-of-a-kind rewards, including: a Therapy Set, filled with crystals & tea & an encouraging handwritten note, a Super Babe Set, which includes my favorite lipstick, OR even a coffee date with me to talk about our feelings and fears and birthcharts and probably cry!
Track list for Grief Creature!!! Also also The Kickstarter has almost reached its goal!!! If you want the TL;DR— the link to the kickstarter is in my bio. You can pre-order the physical album there or choose some limited edition gift packs! . . I have a few more production tweaks to make until mixing, but we’re close. I started producing this album myself two years ago, and this project has turned into my masterpiece. It is the most incredible work I’ve ever done. There are 4 tracks of spoken word that I recorded on top of orchestral arrangements I composed (performed by @andrewjoslynmusic!), beautiful harp played by @lissa.achten throughout the album, incredibly haunting & powerful duets written with @maiahmanser, @macklemore, @wongweezy, and @julienrbaker. The album has badass drums from @heatherondrums & guitar/bass from @tvb.music & @chuckykim_ , and a beautiful song I wrote with Francis White in London many years ago. “House of Mirrors” wouldn’t have come together without @budo’s stellar ears, and of course I owe so much of my production chops to @jeremycaysproductions and @katepowersmusic (also Kate is a wicked violinist!!) for being patient with me while I learned a new DAW, and allowed me to try 10,000 different snare sounds and 500 weird synths to of course, settle on a grand piano. My soul & grief & joy is in the fabric of the sound, and I couldn’t be more proud to show it to y’all this Winter. Get ready to cry.
It has been a wild day!!! Trains, planes, automobiles across Peru to get us near Machu Picchu. Honestly, it was a perfect day to launch my kickstarter, since I barely had service and had to sit with the discomfort of not knowing & trusting in the universe’s plan. That said, I’m sitting in the hotel, crying, overwhelmed by the love and generosity I feel from y’all. My fear to launch the project feels so silly from here. Thank you for holding me, even if and when I’m riddled in shame. Going to Machu Picchu has been on my bucket list since I was a kid. I’ve always wondered if there was some sort of extraterrestrial conspiracy around the Inca, but now, being here, I’m laughing at the absurdity. No, this civilization was brilliant & powerful & worked incredibly hard. There are no accidents. It is helping to remind me that I have a purpose here. I was put on this earth to make beautiful, cathartic music and aid those who have experienced trauma and mental illness. Being here also reminds me that no one does something that courageous and pivotal in isolation. This album took every ounce of courage I have to make and share, and here you all are, meeting me at this crossroads of vulnerability, telling me you’ve got my back. That is it’s own sort of magic. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope to make you all proud.
Hey sweet loves, After months of debating how to wrap this album up, I humbly present you with the Grief Creature kickstarter! I want to be honest and frank with where I’m at. I’m terrified. It was terrifying to write this album. It was terrifying to produce this album. Now, naturally, I’m terrified to release this album, and I’m absolutely terrified to promote this Kickstarter. But, holy shit, here it is.
my friend @sheer_awe posted a photo of a sidewalk today. It was a cement square scattered with frosted stars from a children’s cereal. She said: “I found the night sky in bare daylight today. I am happy to report that, as expected, a child left it for us - a released fist of Cheerio stars. I am also happy to report that the vastness is sun-kissed & very cross-able. Just be careful not to crunch. Or, you know what, crunch away! There’s a holiday of sound waiting for you. The Blues are a feeling & a place, but so are the Crunchies. Use your own good feet. Do a dumb thing boldly. Dance an ankle scrabble. Make a pigeon jealous. Go on, human! Make an “I’m getting there” sound.” This is my “I’m getting there” sound. It’s a photo of me in a bathing suit. It’s me on a real vacation, sucking the lime wedge unabashedly after tequila, because I can. We cross universes every time we learn a new thing, don’t we? The brain is a masterpiece. I left our room like this! I leapt over a cheerio chasm & it was my own unlearning! Even though I felt like a goddess divine, I said out loud, “oh, too much”. Almost wiped that perfect red lip right off! Thank god for friends who exude confidence & gratuitous self love. Just moments after I took this photo, my sweetheart gasped and looked at me like I was a whole dang fireworks show. Stars!!!! ⭐️ ✨ 🌟
Paige and I got to have date night at the @booksmart premiere and had an absolute blast. Booksmart is a movie I wish was around when I was coming out. It was subversive and clever and entertaining as hell and sparkly and queer and beautiful. It was a joy to meet the cast! I finally got meet the incomparable, @beaniefeldstein & I only cried at @msjwilly’s face ONCE. @oliviawilde is a phenomenal director, and I could tell this project was a blast to make. Congratulations, Booksmart makers!! CAN’T WAIT FOR Y’ALL TO SEE THIS MOVIE!! ❤️📔📕📗📘📙📒❤️
I lost my phone for a week & just got it back and I have so much to share!! This past weekend was the @musicares Concert for Recovery. I got very weepy watching @macklemore receive the Stevie Ray Vaughan award. I can’t remember the last time I cried singing “Same Love”, but it was just so special, I couldn’t help it. The past five years have been a wild ride, and I’m so proud of what Ben & I have been through and accomplished. ✨♥️✨♥️ Also big thanks to @styleethic for finding this gorgeous dress by @renetylerplussize & bra from @curvycoutureintimates and @harperartist for my pretty hair!
Listen, your weight loss is your prerogative. If you feel like it's going to make you happier or feel better to have a goal of losing weight, I’m not the expert of your body (I’d happily talk at length about the subject, because I personally believe that self-love comes from emotional work, and if you believe that happiness is only possible by achieving an arbitrary number on a scale, you will have an arduous, frustrating journey, but that’s for the next book). What I don’t need, are folks urging other comfortable fat people like myself to join them on their journey. Your “before” pictures are implications of a right way and a wrong way to have a body. It perpetuates an ideal that is harmful. Being active, moving your body, and exercise are not synonymous with being thin, and I urge y’all to investigate that belief. When I see friends of mine celebrating their weight loss and others lamenting their big size, I feel a pang of sadness. It reminds me of all the years I spent feeling inadequate, feeling like I would never be beautiful or worthy or good in my body. Examine your shit. You think this is about health? It’s never been about health. It’s about aesthetic, systemic patriarchy, and companies profiting off of insecurity. I can hike and lift and rock climb and box and play tennis in this body. I eat incredibly well. There are no wrong bodies, and whether you mean to or not, your “before” and “after” photos imply that there are. Don’t be ashamed of your strength, healthy body, or being able to climb hella stairs! Don’t be ashamed of sharing how different you feel now that you’ve made adjustments in activity & nutrition– that’s wonderful! Celebrate that! Take selfies celebrating your strong body! But health isn’t synonymous with weight loss. Please, please, don’t promote weight loss shakes or systems, or perpetuate products that imply thinness as the pinnacle of health. If losing weight was a goal with you and your doctor, and it was the right answer for you, go ahead. I personally think the the medical industry is way behind in understanding nutrition and the incredible things fat cells can accomplish, but your body is your business. I just wonder what it would look like if folks treated their weight loss kind of like religion. If someone asks, share away! But your ideology is different than mine, and for a lot of people, weight loss as a goal is rooted in shame. Also? Fat people can be healthy. I don’t need to lose weight to feel good or strong or beautiful, and I especially don’t need anyone else telling me to.