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Emery Acoustic: Live in Houston (Live Acoustic)
You Were Never Alone
Revival: Emery Classics Reimagined
20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection: The Best Of
10 Years
We Do What We Want
Are You Listening?
In Shallow Seas We Sail
While Broken Hearts Prevail
I'm Only a Man
I'm Only a Man (Bonus Track Version)
The Question
The Weak's End
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at The Catalyst (August 15, 2019)
Venue: The Catalyst (Santa Cruz, CA, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at The Roxy Theatre (August 16, 2019)
Venue: The Roxy Theatre (West Hollywood, CA, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at Garden Grove Amphitheatre (Garden Amp) (August 17, 2019)
Venue: Garden Grove Amphitheatre (Garden Amp) (Garden Grove, CA, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery and Oh, Sleeper at Irenic (August 18, 2019)
Venue: Irenic (San Diego, CA, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at The Boardwalk (August 19, 2019)
Venue: The Boardwalk (Orangevale, CA, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at Full Circle Brewery (August 20, 2019)
Venue: Full Circle Brewery (Fresno, CA, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at Backstage Bar & Billiards (August 21, 2019)
Venue: Backstage Bar & Billiards (Las Vegas, NV, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at The Crescent Ballroom (August 22, 2019)
Venue: The Crescent Ballroom (Phoenix, AZ, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery and Oh, Sleeper at Sunshine Theater (August 23, 2019)
Venue: Sunshine Theater (Albuquerque, NM, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery and Oh, Sleeper at Jake's Backroom (August 24, 2019)
Venue: Jake's Backroom (Lubbock, TX, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery and Oh, Sleeper at Trees (August 25, 2019)
Venue: Trees (Dallas, TX, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery and Oh, Sleeper at Empire Control Room & Garage (August 26, 2019)
Venue: Empire Control Room & Garage (Austin, TX, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery and Oh, Sleeper at Scout Bar (August 27, 2019)
Venue: Scout Bar (Houston, TX, US) Find tickets
Roxanne Emery Jun 15, 2019
9 months sober today. It would be impossible without being in recovery, and working the 12 steps. For me, and many others, this process is a miracle. When I say I am sober today, I don’t just mean I am not drunk or high. I mean my mind is sober. My thoughts are clear. My emotions are present and real. My purpose being realised. I am calmer, and happier than I have ever been. It doesn’t mean I don’t fight, or struggle, but I do so with extremely strong roots. I am stable. Not drinking alcohol is the first step in a 1000 step journey in which my truest potential, as a happy, healthy, and healed human is being realised. Sobriety is a way of life. It affects my friendships, how I love, how I do business, how I show up on social media, how I navigate conflict. It’s a reset from the very core of our beings. It’s changed my personality. Or perhaps, restored it. The warning signs were there for me, and I would have told you to “fuck off” if you raised them to me. But here they are, presented with the gift of hindsight: •always the first to the bar •drinking faster than others •regular blackouts •saying I wouldn’t drink today and then drinking •over spending on alcohol •pressuring others to drink •unable to go out without a drink •unable to fly without a drink m •losing keys / bag / phone when drunk •doing drugs when drunk •getting into fights •hangovers became normal If this resonates. Help is available. There is no shame, alcohol is POWERFUL. Check out your nearest 12 step meeting. Full recovery, beyond what you can even comprehend, is available
Roxanne Emery Jun 12, 2019
Today I finished a song, and made a new biography for a music project I am working on. And I am really proud of myself! My brain can get caught in a loop with things I have to do... no joke. Things can sit on my to do list for MONTHS. It’s like I am blocked when thinking about them and I just can’t complete the tasks. I tell me team “I swear it’s coming tomorrow!”... and tomorrow never comes. I get so overwhelmed by seeing the things I have to do, that I end up not doing any of it. I am learning to go easy on myself. Not to expect myself to do huge amounts of work, because it quite simply won’t get done. (And then I am left in a useless shame cloud questioning what’s wrong with me.) Some days I feel like a super hero, I can work out, blog, write a song, clean the house, and catch up with friends. Other days? It’s a struggle doing one of those things. Now I try and focus on small victories. Even accomplishing one thing and ticking it off is worth celebrating. It means I am moving forward. I’ll sit with a coffee after I complete something. And tell myself “well done”. I’ll check in with myself and my energy levels for if I can do something else. “The man who moves a mountain starts simply by moving a few small stones.” Today I encourage you to look at your to do list, and the expectations you have of yourself to be constantly grinding, and rather than stress about how much you have to do. Pick one thing. And just do that. And if that’s all you do today, it’s ok. It’s ok that we can’t do everything. It’s ok to take long breaks. It’s ok to have days off. It’s ok to go slowly. It’s ok to check your energy. It’s ok to say no. You are powerful. Don’t let an out of control to do list tell you otherwise.
Roxanne Emery Jun 11, 2019
I talk a lot about “being in recovery”. That means that I am attending 12 step meetings, and working through the 12 step program. There are so many different groups available for so many different addictions. If you’re an alcoholic, drug addict, co-dependent, sex-addict... there is a place for you to go. To spend time with other humans with similar stories to yours, who will all help you get better. One thing that plays on my mind is that so many more people are suffering than those with an often obvious addiction. We can be trapped by: •anxiety •depression •low self esteem •self harm All of these things are addictions in a way. And I know all of them could be helped by the same tools that recovery programs use. One of the key elements of recovery meetings, is spending time with other humans. Face to face. Listening. Understanding. Helping. It’s a space to share our true selves and be seen and heard. I was so happy to read that my wonderful friend Emily Hartridge has arranged a mental health meet up and walk! Where women will meet in London, share their stories, and spend time together. Emily is bringing one of the most healing parts of recovery to everyone. I can’t wait to attend her first mental health meet up in London, lovingly named “Brain Buddies”! If you are London based. Come and say hi! DETAILS: Saturday 15th June Battersea Park 2pm Meeting point: Go Ape Note: FEMALE ONLY I hope to see some of you there. And for those of you not in London / male: if you are struggling with: •alcohol •drugs •sex / love •gambling •co-dependency Google your nearest meeting! A new life awaits. For those suffering in other areas. Perhaps you could arrange your own mental health meet ups inspired by Emily? Human connection is PARAMOUNT to healing.
Roxanne Emery Jun 10, 2019
I want to talk about behavioural red flags that tell us something is going on emotionally. I always wondered why I was so bad at taking caring of myself, here are some behaviours that I had until only last year, they were their most extreme when I lived alone in London and was depressed: •not showering regularly •not cleaning my space •not cleaning my teeth •not cleaning my clothes, often wearing the same clothes for days •not washing my bed sheets •passing out drunk and sleeping on the sofa I told myself “I am just a shit human. I can’t do this stuff like other people” There was a lot of shame in the way that I lived. If a friend came over unexpectedly, I would panic so much about what they would think of the mess and dirt I lived in. And if I had notice someone was coming around, I would clean. Other people were worthy of cleanliness. It’s not that I couldn’t do this stuff. It’s that I honestly didn’t feel worthy of cleanliness, and felt a sense of powerlessness over my lifestyle. Over the last year I have learned how to take care of myself. It’s involved learning new skills, building new habits, and it’s come in tandem with loving myself a whole lot more. I respect my mind and my body. I don’t want to be in dirty sheets and clothes. Sometimes the old behaviours pop up. Like the other day. I didn’t clean my teeth. I didn’t take my make up off. I slept in a bed with no sheets. The next day I realised something was going on inside that needed attention. When our basic self care isn’t there, it’s because we need help somewhere. It’s a “behavioural cry for help”. If your self care is slipping, or hasn’t been in a good place for a while, you do not need to feel shame. IT’S OK. You are human. It’s time to look deeper inside to find the feeling of powerlessness and unworthiness that have you caught there. And work on them. Every time I wash my clothes, or clean, I feel so good. It’s a miracle to me. A reminder that I am worthy, and I am in control.
Roxanne Emery Jun 08, 2019
This morning I woke up sad. Something had started bubbling yesterday, a sense that something was off, but I wasn’t aware enough to name it, or sit with it. My mind waved some red flags. Some behaviours that show a low level of self care. When my self care goes, the energy to love myself, that means internally something is in conflict, here were yesterday’s red flags: •not cleaning my room despite needing to •sleeping in yesterday’s clothes •not taking my make up off •not cleaning my teeth •not making my bed and sleeping in a duvet with no cover Upon waking all I could say was “I feel SAD”. But I felt a few other things too: overwhelmed, useless, scared. I made the decision to sit with how I was feeling. And see what needed attention. 5 minutes of disorientating emotion later, I saw what I needed to. A work situation was upsetting me. A situation tied into my personal life. I connected the dots. I communicated to the people I work with. And immediately felt better. Emotions can be scary. “Am I going to feel like this all day?” “Is my depression back?” “What’s wrong with me?”. But these thoughts do not help us... instead I encourage us all to practice RAIN. An incredible method of self compassion that I learned about from Tara Brach RECOGNISE - are you feeling something? Can you name it? ALLOW - let it be there. Don’t try to make it go away or to fix it. Sit with the emotion however hard INVESTIGATE - with kindness and compassion. Where is the root? What is on your heart? NUTURE - with love and compassion... what do you need? Can you offer yourself love and hope? Emotions and feelings are waves. If we just learn a few sailing skills, life becomes a lot smoother.
Roxanne Emery May 28, 2019
ONE YEAR LATER. Why did I start? Well... because I hated myself. I hated being out of breath climbing the stairs. I hated the fact that I smelled. In between my boobs used to smell. I hated the bloated feeling I had all the time. I hated failing at every diet. I hated myself in photos taken by other people. I hated my reflection in a shop window. Oh dear... that is a lot of hate. I WISH I could turn back time and change all of that. And start for this reason “I love my body. I want to honour it, and put my health first”. Hey... we live and learn... so, using all that hate as a motivator I set out to lose weight. Here’s what happened: I smashed myself in the gym, only to end up hating myself for missing workouts and not being dedicated enough. I restricted my diet severely, only to end up hating myself when I binged and even tried to make myself throw up! Even as I was losing weight, the thing I thought was the answer, there was still so much HATE. So... the biggest thing I have learned? You cannot HATE your body into being something you LOVE. Self-hate will follow you everywhere. It is only when you deal with hating yourself things will change for the good. I needed to put some love back in. •to love my scars, my cellulite, my muscles, my love handles •to move in a way I loved! For me that’s a little bit of yoga, a little bit of gym, and no guilt •to love food again! I eat mainly whole food vegan but have stopped restricting cakes, sweets, and sugar. If I want it, I’ll eat it! I am not on a diet any more. I just want to live the rest of my life honouring my body and my mind. That’s it. I am sorry for all the times I glamorised weight loss. I am sorry if I ever made you feel less than. I am sorry if my photos caused feelings of unworthiness. You are absolutely beautiful. Your body is unique. And if you are looking for a goal? Make it self love.
Roxanne Emery May 26, 2019
I’ve always wondered when it would be ok to say that “I am a songwriter.” When I could confidently tell people that is what I do, with no need to qualify or explain. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have said: “I’m kind of a songwriter” “I write songs but nothing you would have heard of” I guess it will be when I hit a certain goal... Maybe it will be when I write a song that gets a million streams? No... that wasn’t enough. Maybe I’ll feel it at 10 million. No... that wasn’t enough. I guess I have to wait until 100 million then? Maybe it will be when a song I write is played on the radio! No... that wasn’t enough. Maybe when a song I write is on heavy rotation on radio. No, that wasn’t enough either. I guess it will need to be the biggest radio hit of the year then? Every time I got to the marker I had chosen as “finally worthy of being called a songwriter” status, the goal post moved. Successes I had yearned for were dwarfed by the next goal. I didn’t get to enjoy it, or be proud of it. So then... rather than wait for the 100 million streams, or the huge radio hit. What can I do? Calling myself a songwriter doesn’t lie in my future. There is no goal I can reach that will finally make me feel worthy. Because there will always be another goal. Maybe the key to my identity as a songwriter lies somewhere in my past instead then? So I looked back... and there was a 12 year old girl, sat at a piano, writing a song called “Thrills and Spills”. She didn’t know what she was doing. She had never studied songwriting or heard of it as a career. But there she was. Writing a song. Complete with verse, bridge, and chorus. That is the day I become a songwriter. The day I wrote my first song. So hi! I’m Roxanne. And I’m a songwriter. It’s an awesome job! I am also many other things. I’m sober, I’m passionate about mental health, I’m incredibly awkward. This is just a part of what I do. But it’s a passion and I am very, very grateful to do it. What is it that you do?
Roxanne Emery May 22, 2019
Until this year, in conversations with a friend (who is also a counsellor and hypnotherapist) I had no idea that I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship in my past. This relationship had a HUGE affect on me. And I never realised. I didn’t know that what was happening was abuse. Emotional abuse can happen between romantic partners, friendships, family members, co-workers... and it’s very different for everyone. Here is what I felt like in my situation: •constantly in fear of the reaction I was going to get •one day being treated amazingly, the next being screamed at •guilt being used to manipulate me •having my emotions and experience invalidated, being called “crazy” •having my faults consistently highlighted •never receiving an apology •having the person deny they had said and done hurtful things •gifts always came with strings attached and would be used against me •feeling like I was walking on egg shells constantly •feeling drained and confused •regularly left in tears The cumulative affect of this led to loss of trust in myself, low self esteem, putting the abuser on a pedestal, and living in fear and anxiety. I didn’t begin to hate them, I began to hate myself. You may ask, “well why didn’t you stick up for yourself?”. Well, every time I tried, my words would get twisted, I would be screamed at, and punished for criticising this person. It became easier just to take it. I’d fall silent and let this person scream at me. I told myself they didn’t really mean it, that they actually loved me, and that it would be ok again soon. I’m currently in the process of unpacking what happened. Understanding it in this new context, and working to heal the trauma it left me with. I can attribute a lot of my triggers, and panic reactions to this relationship. And as I slowly start to reprogram my central nervous system (with hypnotherapy) I can see the fear cloud that I was living under. But, that cloud is lifting.
Roxanne Emery May 21, 2019
HOW TO HEAL 1. Identity where you want to grow and become free. For example: an addiction, low self esteem, depression, anxiety, body image, physical / mental health. 2. Accept that you cannot fix this thing alone. You have probably tried many times. 3. Believe that you CAN GET BETTER. Have faith in a new version of you who is free. 4. Seek out the help you need: a 12 step program, a mentor who has overcome what you are dealing with, audiobooks in this field, therapy, podcasts. Develop an insatiable thirst for knowledge about what you suffer with and find people who have beaten it. Let them guide you. 5. Remember that meditation and prayer are your best friends on the healing journey! (If you dont believe in God, pray to the universe, to a force of unconditional love, Mother Nature) 6. Commit! Show up every day and work on yourself. If you forget a day. Forgive instantly and get back to it. Know that you are worth of love and investment and freedom. That’s it. That is what healing looks like. It won’t happen overnight. It will be long. And painful. And beautiful. And triggering. It will be three steps forward and two steps back. It will be wanting to quit. It will be crying at night alone. It will be magical. It will restore you. It won’t be easy. But it will be worth it. Now don’t get me wrong. IT IS MESSY. Just today I was lying in a field in tears facing my next challenges: healing my relationship to romantic love and finances. BUT.... we can do it! It’s time to wake up, to take control, to heal, to grow, and to be free. If a book, a podcast, a 12 step program or anything else helped you heal please share it in the comments! I healed so much... self harm, depression, crippling self doubt, anxiety, low self esteem, addictions... I KNOW CHANGE IS POSSIBLE. I began my journey one year ago. Walking in the park, listening to podcasts. That changed my entire life. I cannot wait for the next years growth and where I will be in 2020. Who’s with me?
Roxanne Emery May 20, 2019
I have learnt a lot over the past year whilst losing a lot of weight, and it’s my utmost honour to share a lot of those mistakes and insights with you in the hope to encourage you that you are more powerful than you know! BUT... I want to be totally honest that my own body image needs some serious loving. For me that looks like sharing photos that my ego has a “fuck no you cannot share that with the world” reaction to. That’s the exact parts of me I need to show you if I am going to heal. Like this pic for example... Old reasons not to post: •belly rolls •PMS bloat •hairy legs •pale skin •slightly cross eyes •doesn’t fit the “fitspo” influencer mould •it won’t get as many likes as I don’t look my best New reasons to post: •umm... it’s me?! I’ve made some pretty big mistakes along my new journey to finding health. Here’s a few of them. (I ask for your forgiveness, and that you bear with me as I undoubtedly make more. Just know I am trying.) •Facetuning my body to look slimmer •binge eating behind closed doors but preaching about balance •not taking photos when I’m premenstrual because I look bigger and only wanting to be seen when I look thin •some days only going to the gym so I can post about it •preaching about how great I feel being thin and healthy whilst actually feeling like shit •not sharing anything unflattering of myself and feeling shame if someone else does I want to love myself unconditionally. I want to overcome all of these behaviours. It’s going to take time, and some readjusting. But I know I will get there. Health for me is holistic. It covers all three areas of mind-body-spirit. I am so much healthier in all 3 than I was a year ago. And for that I am so proud of myself. I am fitter, physically stronger, sober, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I don’t binge watch Netflix, my faith is unshakable, I am no longer depressed, I don’t self harm anymore, I don’t feel ashamed to sing, I don’t live in fear. And these things are a fucking miracle. But, as always, there is more to learn.
Roxanne Emery May 17, 2019
Yesterday I went shopping. I was stood in the changing room at @zara trying on this dress. I’d put on a little weight due to it being time of the month. ...and my thoughts were pretty horrible. (I’m going to list the thoughts I had triggered from marginal weight gain, I want to make very clear that I do not believe these things and I do not need validation over these things, this was a moment of my inner life I want to share to make a point). “Your shoulders are too big now. You look manly” “Look at your bloated stomach, that is disgusting” “How can you work out for a year and still look so gross?” “Look at your boobs... they are a horrible shape” “Look at your flat hair... it’s thin and disgusting” Stood in front of the mirror, abusing myself, I suddenly realised something. THIS IS NOT ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT. No amount of weight I can lose will silence this voice. Read that again. “No amount of weight I can lose will silence this voice”. I had built a prison out of my own quest for perfection. Even the slightest weight fluctuation and I felt awful. What about when I get older / get pregnant / have an accident and can’t work out? How will I love myself then?! This is very, very important. I feel so many of us believe we will finally be worthy of being seen if we were smaller (for women) or more muscly (for men). But please learn from me: YOUR WORTH DOES NOT COME FROM YOUR SIZE. Getting healthy has done incredible things for me on so many levels. And I am going to stick to working out and eating well. But I have overemphasised and glamorised weight loss, and I want to say sorry. I am going to show up more. With more cellulite, bloated days, stretch marks, and insecurities. Because they are just as worthy to be seen as my newly crafted abs. I know lots of people with incredible bodies who are miserable. And I will not become one of them. And I will not encourage you to become one of them. Thank you for bearing with me as I learn, and grow, and mess up, and repeat.
Roxanne Emery May 14, 2019
8 months sober today! Here’s a question that I haven’t been asked in 8 months: “do you remember what you did last night?” Nothing quite like that one to induce walls-closing-in levels of fear and shame. The answer always being... “umm... no. I kind of blacked out at the last bar. Please tell me it wasn’t something awful”. I’d sit and listen to the list of things I did the night before, some nights being worse than others, trying to piece it together. Here’s a few that would come up: •you slapped me in the face •you started a fight with a stranger •you were horrible to one of our friends •you were all over some other guy •you said horrendous things to me •you made a real fool out of yourself in front of loads of work people •you bought a table in the club •you fell over in the street and I had to carry you home •you passed out on the floor •you lost your passport As details were recounted to me of my behaviour, I would grow smaller and smaller. Feeling so ashamed. “Please god no. I can’t have”. I’d be disgusted at myself. Desperate to not be seen in this way. I’d text apologies to people I had offended. And promise it wouldn’t happen again. Only, it always did. I love this quote. “I didn’t get into trouble every time I was drunk. But every time I got into trouble I was drunk”. There are no words to describe my gratitude for recovery, and my new life. It’s freedom. And it feels amazing.
Roxanne Emery May 08, 2019
“My First Smear Test” Not something I ever thought I would be sharing on social media... but here we are. When my Mum died of cervical cancer in 2006, one of the things she asked me to do in her letter to me, was to get a smear test. The cancer she died from was really curable. But because someone mis-read her smear, the cancer was able to develop. And this error led to her death. I had a lot of emotions around this for a long time... Intense anger. Hopelessness. Grief. Desperation. Unfairness. Somewhere along the way, I didn’t process this pain properly. Unprocessed pain leads to trauma - trauma being a deeply distressing or disturbing experience, that presents itself in intense irrational emotions in later life. Rationally thinking, a smear test would be the first thing I’d do right? Knowing that they can save lives. Knowing early detection is critical. Well... trauma doesn’t think. It FEELS. Trying to explain it rationally won’t make sense, but here is my best attempt: •part of me wanted to die, just like my Mum. If someone that good can die, how can someone as bad as me survive? •part of me wanted to get cancer because maybe then I would be cared for •I didn’t feel worthy of having good health •I didn’t want to know if I had it or not, better to live recklessly and enjoy each day right? •smears don’t work. They got my Mums wrong. What’s the point. Reading these now I wish I could go back in time and give myself a massive hug. I don’t feel any of these things now. And for that I am very, very grateful. ...anyway, the nurse was AMAZING. So reassuring and lovely. It took maximum 5 minutes and wasn’t very painful. If you have been putting off a smear test, maybe today is the day to book one it. And feel free to DM me, happy to share my experience with you. Results in 3 weeks.
Roxanne Emery May 07, 2019
There are days when life feels too much. When the world feels too broken. When it seems like we are fighting a losing battle. When pain. And loss. And death. Are around every corner. When we ask “what’s the point?”. “Why bother?”. Here’s the thing, we are not in this alone. So many of us are fighting the good fight. We are striving for hope. For joy. For healing. We are stronger than we know. Peace has a purpose. Love is stronger than hate. Remember this... it is not up to you to save the world. All you need to do is save yourself, and then do what you can where you are. Healing yourself heals those around you by default. When we see people walking around free from trauma, and being 100% authentic to who they are, that gives us permission to do the same. Do not be discouraged. Do not stop pursuing healing. Do not stop being kind. Do not stop trying to help. Do not stop loving.
Roxanne Emery May 05, 2019
A man walks into the doctors after an accident whilst out riding his bike. He has an X-Ray and it turns out his leg is broken in THREE PLACES. The Dr. tells the man the news, and that he won’t be able to ride his bike again. She then prescribes him a painkiller. He will need to take one pill a day, possibly for the rest of his life. There is no discussion of a cast, of healing, or a recovery plan. We wouldn’t accept this answer with our physical bodies, so why are we accepting it with our minds? If we go into the doctors with a broken leg, that is the STARTING point of recovery, not an END POINT. We need to look at our mental health diagnosis, as starting points to healing. Our minds can recover, just as our bodies can. Our recovery plans will all be different because broken souls aren’t quite as one-size-fits-all as broken bones. BUT, healing is still possible. If you have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, low self esteem, bi polar... are you open to viewing it in a new way? Instead of a life sentence, as a starting point of healing and recovery? It will mean doing life differently. Trying different things to see what resonates. Believing that you can heal. I can’t tell you what recovery will look like to you. But I can promise you that if you show up, and do the work things will change! Here are the things I have done that have fundamentally changed my self harming, depression, and alcoholism: •meditating: it allows me to be less reactive in life, and to heal deep wounds •journaling: it allows me to work out my thoughts on paper, and see if I are falling into resentment. If so, I work it out and shift to gratitude •physical health: honouring my body is the ultimate form of self care. Healthy whole food diet, and movement have been game changers! •audiobooks which have changed my life: The Four Agreements, The Power of Now, A Return To Love, The Power of Vulnerability •AA: basically amazing group therapy and the development of faith Research your mental health. Create a plan. And GO FOR IT. You are so so powerful. You are in control.
Roxanne Emery May 03, 2019
Today was an admin day. What that means is an impossible list of tasks I have been putting off since forever. I have been blessed with many things in this life, administrational skill is not one of them. But... I am trying to grow. Sorry. Let me rephrase: I AM GROWING when it comes to admin. 50 things went undone BUT, I completed one big task: packing all the Restoration merch to be sent out. Here’s what it felt like: •staring at a spreadsheet that may as well have been written in Japanese •checking each order 8 times convinced I was making errors •having a rogue hoodie left over at the end despite quadruple checking every order •having to lie down for an hour after everything was packed because it overwhelmed me! Here’s the thing.. those bags are packed. It may not have been an easy thing for me to do, and I may feel like a weirdo that it takes so much out of me doing admin BUT I did it anyway. My old approach to admin was this “I hate it. I am shit at it. It ruins my day. It gives me anxiety. Therefore I won’t do it”. Needless to say this technique is not one I would advise... two consequences of living this way: 1) driving around without a license for 2 YEARS because I didn’t open letters and missed one telling me my license had been revoked. 2) My company almost being shut down because I hadn’t replied to some really important information regarding taxes. See? I’M A MESS. I might be happier and healthier than ever. But I am still a mess. I am still learning new skills everyday, facing challenges, and taking massive naps when normal people would be getting on with the next task. So my encouragement for you today... ⭐️ doing one thing on your to do list is better than none ⭐️ ask for help with tasks that you find stressful ⭐️ do not feel ashamed! We all do life differently and have different strengths and weaknesses, it’s ok! ⭐️ congratulate yourself on small victories!
Roxanne Emery May 02, 2019
Perfectionism tricks our brain into giving up. We see our options as perfection, or nothing. Perfectionism affects the 5 key life areas. Here is what perfectionism looks like to me, and how I am trying to replace it with healthy striving: HEALTH •Perfectionism: I must train 6 days a week / I must have abs / I must do yoga everyday / I must restrict my diet. If I don’t, I have failed and may as well quit. •Healthy striving: I will work out when I can / I will aim to make good choices and not beat myself up / health is a long term goal / 5 minutes is better than no minutes PERSONAL GROWTH •Perfectionism: I must meditate everyday / I must journal everyday / I must listen to an audiobook everyday. If I don’t I am unhealed and I shouldn’t be speaking on it. •Healthy striving: I will do what I can, I will choose to learn where possible, if I miss a day it’s ok, I will pick back up tomorrow. CAREER •Perfectionism: I need to write a hit or else I am not worthy of being a songwriter / I need to launch my podcast and make it a success or else what is the point. If I am not successful I should quit and do something else. •Healthy striving: I will show up, and whole heartedly commit myself to the creative process, the outcome is not for me to decide FINANCES •Perfectionsm: I need to be out of debt / I need lots of money to achieve my dreams / I will not buy anything for myself / I will invest all the money I earn. If I don’t, I am irresponsible and not worthy of making money. •Healthy striving: I will do my best to correct my past mistakes, I will act more responsibly, I will not beat myself up for errors, I will enjoy life. LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS •Perfectionsm: I must not embarrass myself / I must not be too much / I must hide my weaknesses / I must look perfect. Otherwise no one will find me attractive. •Healthy striving: I will be open to love, I will show up whole heartedly, my down sides are also loveable to the right person. And my first calling is to love myself. Where is perfectionism holding you back? Can you replace limiting perfectionism with healthy striving?
Roxanne Emery Apr 25, 2019
11 months into my my journey. Here are some things I did this month: I went back to the gym and started lifting weights again. Last time I did this I took it too far and ended up with some very disordered eating! But this time... I have a lot more knowledge, and self love. And truly feel I am there to honour, and not punish my body. If this changes, I will stop again. I feel very motivated to gain some more muscle, firstly because it’s quite amazing to see what the body can do, secondly because in an egotistical way I want my one year before and after picture to be awesome, and thirdly... I really want to show people what can be done on a vegan diet! So yeah... a before and after photo with a caption about lifting weights, a healthy mindset and eating a vegan diet. Now the cliche bits are out of the way... Here are some things I also did this month: •binge ate so much cake on Easter I made myself feel sick •booked a yoga class and didn’t go, rebooked it and also didn’t go to replacement class out of pure apathy •committed to practicing a handstand everyday, and missed at least 8 days •got upset when I put weight on during my period •considered eating Dairy Milk chocolate (which would break my vegan diet which is really important to me!) I am still a work in progress. Learning how to have a healthy relationship with food, and myself. I don’t always get it right. But I am always open to learn. When I spot disordered eating, negative self talk, of destructive behaviour, I notice it... allow it... question it... and hope to heal it. Health is about making the right choices more than the wrong choices. Not beating ourselves up when we aren’t perfect. Allowing balance into our lives. And believing that we are truly in control of our bodies.
Roxanne Emery Apr 13, 2019
7 months sober. That also means 7 months of: •no hangovers •no being sick •no spending way too much money on drinks •no spending way too much money in strip bars •no texting people I shouldn’t •no calling my ex 45 times •no sex I can’t remember •no ordering cocaine •no checking social media the next morning and feeling so embarrassed •no bar fights •no fights with people I love •no calling my Dad a c*nt •no missed flights due to being hungover or drunk •no cancelled sessions due to hangovers / forgetting etc. •no afternoons wasted when “just one” at lunch turned into the whole day •no shame at being so drunk all the time •no looking in the mirror and hating what I see Of course it isn’t all smooth sailing, also: •no idea how to talk to boys, since “let’s go out and get drunk” was the way I started every relationship •missing lots of social events as I don’t feel comfortable •not being able to be the life and soul of the party and feeling like an outsider •worrying people don’t think I’m fun •having to feel EVERYTHING. No numbing. No running. Sometimes that is hard •having to find other ways to celebrate One day at a time. Progress not perfection. If you think you may have an issue with alcohol, get yourself to an AA meeting. It saved my life. First one is scary but I promise it’s the best decision you’ll make.
Roxanne Emery Apr 08, 2019
Limited edition ‘Restoration’ merch! DM me of you’d like to order and we will ship it to you. Every order comes with a signed photo Hoodies £30 Beanie £10 xxxx
Roxanne Emery Apr 07, 2019
Hi guys! Here’s the official video for “Dancing in the Rain” Really proud of this one xxx Thanks to Armada Music, FUTURECODE and Rowan While
Roxanne Emery Apr 01, 2019
“Dancing in the Rain” is OUT NOW! xxxx
Roxanne Emery Mar 30, 2019
“What do you do for fun?!” I have been asked this question a fair amount since going sober. Since we became adults, fun has meant getting drunk, going out, and possibly doing drugs. When someone stops those things, it is SHOCKING. Their life must be so boring?! In all honesty... not feeling fun has been a big insecurity of mine. It’s hard to go from the one racking up half gram lines, to the one at home every Friday night. But here’s the thing... FUN has not always meant getting drunk or high. All of us at some point have had a lot of fun doing other things. Think back to your childhood years. What did you do for fun then? Painting? Playing games? Gymnastics? Being creative? Children have an array of activities just for fun and enjoyment, that as we move into adulthood we replace with socialising, and drinking. Perhaps we need to start doing some of these things as adults. I’m not saying drinking isn’t fun. It can be. But, there are many other things we can do. Things that won’t end up with you trying to sleep with your boss, calling your ex 45 times, or weeing yourself in the back of a cab. (FYI I have done all of these things). This morning I went pottery painting. Then hung out with a unicorn. And it was fun. I am learning what fun means to me, changing its definition, and finding a place for it in my new life. What does having fun mean to you? What are some activities you took joy from as a child that you add back into your life now?
Roxanne Emery Mar 29, 2019
So so so excited to announce that HALIENE will be joining me for “Restoration” in London! She is simply one of the most incredible artists I have seen live, and I am so happy you will get to witness her in this incredible setting performing acoustically! VIP and seated tickets are 100% sold out (thank you so much!!!) but you can now purchase standing tickets: Honestly can’t wait 🙂 xxxxx
Roxanne Emery Mar 17, 2019
's cover photo