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You Were Never Alone
Emery Acoustic: Live in Houston (Live Acoustic)
Revival: Emery Classics Reimagined
20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection: The Best Of
We Do What We Want
10 Years
Are You Listening?
In Shallow Seas We Sail
While Broken Hearts Prevail
I'm Only a Man (Bonus Track Version)
I'm Only a Man
The Question
The Weak's End
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at 20th Century Theatre (June 6, 2019)
Venue: 20th Century Theatre (Cincinnati, OH, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at Skully's Music Diner (June 7, 2019)
Venue: Skully's Music Diner (Columbus, OH, US) Find tickets
25th Anniversary • Vans Warped Tour presented by Journeys 25th Anniversary • Vans Warped Tour presented by Journeys 2019
Venue: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum (Cleveland, OH, US) Find tickets
Vans Warped Tour Vans Warped Tour 2019
Venue: Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum (Cleveland, OH, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at Rex Theater (June 9, 2019)
Venue: Rex Theater (Pittsburgh, PA, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at The Hi-Fi (June 10, 2019)
Venue: The Hi-Fi (Indianapolis, IN, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at The Riff (June 11, 2019)
Venue: The Riff (Springfield, MO, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at 89th Street - OKC (June 12, 2019)
Venue: 89th Street - OKC (Oklahoma City, OK, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at Summit Music Hall (June 13, 2019)
Venue: Summit Music Hall (Denver, CO, US) Find tickets
Hawthorne Heights with Emery at Wave (June 14, 2019)
Venue: Wave (Wichita, KS, US) Find tickets
Roxanne Emery Apr 13, 2019
7 months sober. That also means 7 months of: •no hangovers •no being sick •no spending way too much money on drinks •no spending way too much money in strip bars •no texting people I shouldn’t •no calling my ex 45 times •no sex I can’t remember •no ordering cocaine •no checking social media the next morning and feeling so embarrassed •no bar fights •no fights with people I love •no calling my Dad a c*nt •no missed flights due to being hungover or drunk •no cancelled sessions due to hangovers / forgetting etc. •no afternoons wasted when “just one” at lunch turned into the whole day •no shame at being so drunk all the time •no looking in the mirror and hating what I see Of course it isn’t all smooth sailing, also: •no idea how to talk to boys, since “let’s go out and get drunk” was the way I started every relationship •missing lots of social events as I don’t feel comfortable •not being able to be the life and soul of the party and feeling like an outsider •worrying people don’t think I’m fun •having to feel EVERYTHING. No numbing. No running. Sometimes that is hard •having to find other ways to celebrate One day at a time. Progress not perfection. If you think you may have an issue with alcohol, get yourself to an AA meeting. It saved my life. First one is scary but I promise it’s the best decision you’ll make.
Roxanne Emery Apr 08, 2019
Limited edition ‘Restoration’ merch! DM me of you’d like to order and we will ship it to you. Every order comes with a signed photo Hoodies £30 Beanie £10 xxxx
Roxanne Emery Apr 07, 2019
Hi guys! Here’s the official video for “Dancing in the Rain” Really proud of this one xxx Thanks to Armada Music, FUTURECODE and Rowan While
Roxanne Emery Apr 01, 2019
“Dancing in the Rain” is OUT NOW! xxxx
Roxanne Emery Mar 30, 2019
“What do you do for fun?!” I have been asked this question a fair amount since going sober. Since we became adults, fun has meant getting drunk, going out, and possibly doing drugs. When someone stops those things, it is SHOCKING. Their life must be so boring?! In all honesty... not feeling fun has been a big insecurity of mine. It’s hard to go from the one racking up half gram lines, to the one at home every Friday night. But here’s the thing... FUN has not always meant getting drunk or high. All of us at some point have had a lot of fun doing other things. Think back to your childhood years. What did you do for fun then? Painting? Playing games? Gymnastics? Being creative? Children have an array of activities just for fun and enjoyment, that as we move into adulthood we replace with socialising, and drinking. Perhaps we need to start doing some of these things as adults. I’m not saying drinking isn’t fun. It can be. But, there are many other things we can do. Things that won’t end up with you trying to sleep with your boss, calling your ex 45 times, or weeing yourself in the back of a cab. (FYI I have done all of these things). This morning I went pottery painting. Then hung out with a unicorn. And it was fun. I am learning what fun means to me, changing its definition, and finding a place for it in my new life. What does having fun mean to you? What are some activities you took joy from as a child that you add back into your life now?
Roxanne Emery Mar 29, 2019
So so so excited to announce that HALIENE will be joining me for “Restoration” in London! She is simply one of the most incredible artists I have seen live, and I am so happy you will get to witness her in this incredible setting performing acoustically! VIP and seated tickets are 100% sold out (thank you so much!!!) but you can now purchase standing tickets: Honestly can’t wait 🙂 xxxxx
Roxanne Emery Mar 17, 2019
's cover photo
Roxanne Emery Mar 17, 2019
Guys... I am so, so excited to tell you that I am doing a very special one off gig in London! It will be a combination of old songs, new songs, and songs that have helped me get through the last year. It’s in a beautiful little church in London, and I truly hope to create an evening that moves you. You can sign up at to be the first to receive the pre-sale ticket link which we’ll be sending out on Wednesday to those who register! General on sale will be Friday, but if you’d definitely like to come, please do sign-up. You will also have early access to special tickets (seated & VIP). VIP tickets will include an hour of Q&A, meet and greet, signed photos, and a ‘Restoration’ goodie bag! There will also be some INCREDIBLE special guests... I simply cannot wait to share this evening with you, meet you, hang out with you, and of course... SING! It’s been a long time since I did a gig like this and I am kind of in shock to be honest!
Roxanne Emery Mar 08, 2019
Check out my interview with PRESS! Drinking olive oil, eating super hot chillies, oh and discussing music, mental health, and social media.
Roxanne Emery Mar 05, 2019
Roxanne Emery
Roxanne Emery Mar 05, 2019
I’ve just done a Q&A for The VEVOLUTION because I am speaking at their event on Sunday. And I’m having a moment... ME. The cocaine doing, alcoholic, who is overweight, smokes, gets in bar fights, has serious low self esteem, self harms when drunk, lets down her friends, her finances are in a mess, her home is a shambles, she barely showers, and spends most days in bed watching Netflix... THAT GIRL IS SPEAKING ON A PANEL ABOUT HEALTH AND WELL BEING. Things are so so different now, but I never want to forget where I was. I was an absolute and utter wreck for YEARS. A lost cause. Just one of life’s losers incapable of making anything of themselves. Until... Well, until I did. I wish to God I could explain what changed. And I swear to dedicate the rest of my life helping people getting out of the mud and into their true power but please know this... •IT ISN’T TOO LATE •NOTHING YOU HAVE DONE IS UNFORGIVABLE •NOTHING ANYONE ELSE HAS DONE IS UNFORGIVABLE •YOU CAN OVERCOME DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, LOW SELF ESTEEM, SELF HARM •YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL •YOU HAVE A UNIQUE GIFT THAT THE WORLD NEEDS •YOU CAN HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT •YOU CAN BE EXCEPTIONALY HAPPY You know this already but please please talk to me. I am on Instagram and available most days and love chatting to you about your journey, your healing, and sharing parts of my journey that may be useful to you on yours. We are all in this together. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being with me throughout all of this.
Roxanne Emery Feb 11, 2019
Coming out on Friday! The brand new HØLY WATERS single. So excited for this one. Pre-save here
Roxanne Emery Feb 10, 2019
At any given time, we are making decisions based on who is controlling our emotions and thoughts at any given time. There are two leaders alive within us all, and they can be in control of the entire kingdom (our Iives) at any point. One is the animal master. One is the spiritual master. Learning to recognise which master is in control during certain decision making, will really help utilise our rationality and make more impactful, beneficial long term choices. Both masters are strong. Both are capable of making us think “this is absolutely the right decision”. But these two masters are often making very different decisions! It’s important to be aware of who is currently in control. Here is how the animal master likes to live: •acting on sexual desire whenever it is felt •eating whenever and whatever it wants •looks for instant gratification from sex, alcohol, drugs, gossip •using aggression when faced with opposition •words like: impulsive, compulsive, spontaneous apply Here is how the spiritual master likes to live: •recognising when animal desires are at play, and not being controlled by them •being guided by an inner voice of clarity and calm •exercising self control •valuing patience •aiming to add more good into the world •acting from a place of peace and purpose •words like: calm, guided, patience, wisdom apply For a long time I lived purely driven from my animal master. I told myself I was spontaneous, fun, acting out of love, and lived like a bull in a China shop (who had just done a couple of lines of coke). There was always chaos. There was always instability. I was always searching for the next high. Instant gratification was never enough. I always needed it again. Now it is my intention to live under my spiritual master. It can be hard. I can and will get it wrong. But each time I choose my spiritual master, I empower him. His voice becomes clearer. Which master is at work in you today? Can you recognise it and why?
Roxanne Emery Feb 10, 2019
Roxanne Emery
Roxanne Emery Feb 02, 2019
Sacrifice. What does the word mean to you? Possibly it holds some negative connotations... giving things up. Doing things at don’t want to out of fear of guilt. Not of those things sound particularly pleasant. I would like to suggest a different meaning for the word sacrifice. Sacrifice as a “miracle trade up”. Imagine giving somebody £1, and being given £100 in return. The way we define the word, only looks at half of the transaction. It focuses on what we give up. It doesn’t encompass the other side: what we will get in return. It says “I don’t want to give up this £1. It’s mine. I like it. I might need it.” Totally missing the miracle trade up of receiving the £100. Ok, so how does this work in real life? Here are some examples, of sacrifices in my life. These are things I would not have historically wanted to do because they sounded hard, or not very fun because I didn’t know about the miracle trade up! •exercising: going to the gym or commuting to any form of movement is often seen as a sacrifice. Of time, energy, and money. But what’s the miracle trade up? A healthier body, a healthier mind, increased self esteem and self belief, more energy, more vitality, longevity of health. The list is as endless as it is priceless. •cutting down or quitting drugs and alcohol: we sacrifice the freedom to get blackout drunk on a Tuesday and the ‘fun’ of partying. But what’s the miracle trade up? Clarity of mind, no regrets for drunken behaviour, no hangovers, a healthier body and mind, we save a lot of money, we have more time to spend on our goals and with people we love, and we live free of addiction. Again, it’s an endless list of positives. Just a couple of examples... but this really applies everything. To relationships, life goals, spiritual practice. Wherever we are willing to give ourselves up, we allow space for something greater to fill it. Next time something feels like too big of a sacrifice, take a step back, and try and reframe it within the context of a miracle trade up. Make sure you aren’t blocking your £100 by holding tightly to £1.
Roxanne Emery Jan 31, 2019
“To worry is to pray to the devii” Ok, that sounds quite heavy... sorry. But let’s think about it for a second. Worrying is actually a great act of faith. Faith in the worst outcome. Here are some things I worry about: •being gossiped about •returning to drinking •going bankrupt •losing my health •choosing the wrong path •messing up my next relationship What do you worry about? Chances are you can list quite a few things off the top of your head. Worry has become a common state to live in. That means we live in a constant state of faith that the worst will happen. When we worry, we expect the universe to turn out badly. We have great faith in things not working out. This level of faith is actually incredible. It shows we can truly believe in something, and such belief causes things to be. All we have to do is keep the same faith, but replace worry with hope. There is always a hopeful sentence that can replace the worry. Look at all of your worries, and find the hopeful side of it. Here are some examples: •what if it works out? •I will get good news •everything happens in perfect timing •I trust the process •everything works for good •love will find me when I am ready •I am being prepared Sometimes in the middle of a storm, it can be hard to be hopeful. But it is this change of thinking, this new prayer, that will absolutely transform your experience! Have you ever known a storm in nature that does not eventually end? Let’s surrender worry for hope. Let’s trust the process. Let’s trust there is a greater guidance in this world than our human minds are capable of understanding.
Roxanne Emery Jan 30, 2019
My new iPhone monitors my screen time. It’s no surprise I spend A LOT of time on Instagram... Seeing the hours and minutes of my life laid out in a chart really slammed home how important it is to be vigilant about how much time we spend on our phones AND what we do with that time. I’ve got a lot better and using my phone time wisely. Listening to audiobooks, and meditations, and it’s showing in my life. This got me thinking... yes, it’s important to see how much time we spend on certain apps on our phones. But this kind of measurement should come secondary to something fundamentally way more important... The “screen time” we give thoughts in our own minds. We’re far more likely to talk about monitoring our physical phone screen time than we are to look into how much time we spend on certain thought patterns! Let’s get vigilant with our own minds. Let’s notice how much time we are spending on certain thoughts and decide if those thoughts are serving us or not. How many of us are spending HOURS a day of brain screen time stuck in negative story telling that is not serving us? Umm... all of us most likely. Think about your thoughts today... where has your attention been? What would it look like on a graph? Here are some brain screen time thoughts that we want to spend less time on: •negative self talk •replaying a situation from the past •imagining the worst •anger •defensiveness •thoughts of inadequacy •saying mean things about self or others •feeling competitive •thoughts of revenge •violence •imagining an argument •telling stories where we are the victim (Oh yikes... I don’t think my brain screen time is actually very healthy.) Here’s what we can add more of: •gratitude •radical acceptance •positivity •love •patience •joy •creativity •wishing others well •happy memories •ways to live a better life It’s time to take control of our thoughts. And realise, that just like Facebook, we can close certain apps, and actively focus on something better.
Roxanne Emery Jan 28, 2019
Waking up late. And hungover. The sheets haven’t been cleaned for weeks. I don’t want to lie in this bed. It’s disgusting. But I don’t have anywhere else to be today so I don’t have a choice. I crawl to the kitchen to make a coffee. Just to take the edge off my throbbing head. I crawl back into bed. It’s dirty. I feel dirty. In a way we’re a perfect match. I need to eat, the shop feels really far away... maybe I’ll just order something. I tell myself this will be the only thing I eat all day so I can justify spending money I don’t have (It’s a lie... I’ll smoke weed later, get the munchies, and order even more). I can’t face the outside world right now. Uber Eats it is. I lie in bed, mindlessly refreshing my phone, waiting for my food, hoping perhaps for some good news. Some good anything really... but what happens instead is just an endless stream of happiness and success from other people that make me feel even fucking worse. I have a list of things to do. Bills to pay. Friends to connect to. Dreams to follow. But it’s so overwhelming I can’t even take one step. How am I such a loser? How have I thrown my life away in such an epic manner when I had everything. I guess I got the life I deserve. A life of a loser. There’s a knock on the door. I smile at the delivery man, it’s the only bit of real human contact I’ll have all day. For a moment I feel sorry for him. Can you imagine having that job? Then I realise... anything is better than how I feel right now. That was a normal day. Lived over and over again. It feels very far away now, but I never want to forget. What it felt like to be utterly lost and hopeless. This morning I woke up, worked out, and made my bed. Making my bed is a new addition to my life, and it feels amazing. It’s a little gift to myself that’s says “you’re worth it”. If you’re where I was, I promise it gets better. Take a shower. Clean your sheets. If that’s all you do today, I promise it’s enough, and it’s a victory.
Roxanne Emery Jan 26, 2019
The only time we don’t have a shadow, is when we are standing in the dark. Our shadows are most visible when we stand in the light. From a soul perspective that is really interesting... it means that we are either 100% in dark, or a combination of light and shadow. No human being is 100% light. But they can stand 100% in the dark. (And I have certainly lived there, consumed by drink, drugs, chaotic relationships etc.) To stand and to live in the light is not to be without blame, wrongdoing or darkness. But to recognise that darkness exists in us all. To understand it. To love it. And to use it. Spirituality and religion can mistakenly lead us to an “us and them” mentality. With us as the enlightened / the saved / the morally superior etc. and them as the unawake / unholy / wrong. It’s divisive. It’s an ego trick. And it isn’t real. If you find yourself judging someone else for their shadow, it’s highly likely you haven’t come to terms with your own. Your shadow can be a great guide. If we stop running away from it. What we judge most harshly in others, exists in ourselves. Your shadow will be the parts of your personality you are most ashamed of, or have been judged for in the past, that you have repressed and buried within you. For me, and I am still learning, my shadow looks like: •cheating •controlling people •manipulating •laziness / lethargy •being a hypocrite •being judgemental These are all parts of me. I am not ashamed of them. Rather, I look at them and wonder, why are you there? And what will you look like if I love you and allow you into the light? The more time we spend looking at ourselves, rather than others, the more beautiful this world will be.
Roxanne Emery Jan 25, 2019
Imagine you are lost on a long walk. As you are walking it starts to rain. The ground turns to mud. Mud covers your shoes, and as the weather worsens, all of your clothes. You slip on the wet ground, and fall face first into the mud. You cry as it doesn’t feel nice, and you don’t where you are, or how you will get out of this weather. And you feel dirty. You stand to your feet and you keep walking. After many hours, your eyes spot a little house in the distance. The windows light up the dark and act as your guide. You arrive at the house. A friendly lady is already waiting for you, beckoning you inside. “You must be so cold! Here, come inside. You can take a long shower and I will make you a cup of tea”. She is holding a towel and clean clothes. What do you? Please imagine it. You are shivering. Alone. Lost. And covered in mud. And here is warmth, kindness, and cleanliness. I think most of us walk into the house in tears. So grateful to have seen this house, and for the kindness of this lady. If we weren’t so muddy, we would want to hug her. Now imagine replying like this: “I can’t come in. I am too dirty. I will ruin your house. It’s too late for me. I will sleep out here. Eventually I will find my way.” That doesn’t really make sense does it? After such a hard journey, to deny ourselves what we need. To stay in the rain. To stay covered in mud. Feeling it’s too late to get clean. When a shower is right in front of us, offered no strings attached. Imagine this walk in the mud and the rain has been your life so far. Covered in all of the things you are shamed of (for me this includes drugs, alcohol, sleeping with a married man, cheating on partners, lying, manipulating). The lady at the door is the universe. Wanting to help you. And it’s your decision. To accept help, to get warm, to get clean or to reject the kindness and punish yourself more. You are not too dirty. It is not too late. Accept the warm shower, and the cup of tea. Just as we can clean our bodies. We too can clean our souls.
Roxanne Emery Jan 23, 2019
Imagine a person who is really struggling with their physical health. They get out of breath easily, none of their clothes fit as they keep putting on weight, they have really low energy levels. Imagine this person comes to you for advice. What would you tell them? Chances it will be along these lines: •eat more healthily •workout a little more If this person took this advice, over the course of a few moths, their physical health would turnaround. They would gain fitness, new energy, vitality, lose weight etc. Now imagine someone comes to you suffering with poor mental health. They are caught in a loop of depression, anxiety, low self esteem and low self worth. What would you say to this person? It’s a little harder isn’t it? Perhaps we would just offer love and support. Perhaps we would suggest a doctors visit. Maybe medication could help? How about we start seeing mental and physical health as the same thing. Our minds respond to workouts and healthy consumption in the same way our bodies do. So our advice to our friend can be similar. Let’s look at the two parts again. Eat healthier: This means consumption. In the realm of the mind this means to stop consuming junk. Celebrity magazines, advertising, social media accounts that make you feel less than, gossip, mindless TV shows etc. We should advise our friend to start consuming healthier “mind food”. Self development books, spiritual books, podcasts, audiobooks. There is a wealth of information out there! DM me if you want suggestions. Workout more: this means to exercise. To exercise the mind we meditate. Deep healing takes place in a meditative state. You can use the Headspace app, someone deeper like Tara Brach, yoga, journaling, prayer etc. this is how we exercise our mind. If your friend commits to these two things, they would go through a transformation. Not of body. But of mind and spirit. Now imagine that friend is you. Take control today.
Roxanne Emery Jan 22, 2019
Dear body, What an 8 months it has been. I am so, so proud of you. When I look at you there, about to run around the park for the first time, I remember how much you hated yourself. How many times you cried, tasted blood in your mouth, cursed yourself. Even then, when you hated yourself you were beautiful. You were breathing. You kept me alive. You allowed me to do everything I wanted. I said some horrible things to you. And I would like to take them all back. I called you fat, lazy, disgusting. I looked at you in the mirror and cried. That must have been horrible for you. I didn’t realise all you needed was love. A soft touch. And for me to believe in you. You have come on an epic journey with me. I’ve pushed you harder than I should have at times. Called you names when you weren’t perfect. Felt disappointed when you didn’t reach the “goals” I had laid out for you. Tried to make you sick after I chose to binge. But you came with me. You let me do it. You took the punishment. You felt hungry. You felt the discipline of restriction. You felt the pain of the binges. You thanked me when I took a break. And really, it is you who helped me realise how to love you. You love food, you know exactly what you need, if I will just be quiet enough to listen. You don’t like to be forced into things, or called names. And I swear I will never do that again. We’re in this thing for life, and I promise to look after you. To nourish you with amazing food. Rest. And movement that you thrive on. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out. Thank you for bearing with me. I love you. Mind.
Roxanne Emery Jan 21, 2019
I have never walked slowly through heart break. I’ve sprinted away from it, dived head first into it, crashed through the middle of it, and drowned under it. But I have never walked slowly through it. The single most important thing I have done in the last few weeks is to guard my thoughts. To edit them, all the time. There are two modes I can fall into which can are very harmful to my state: 1. I am disgusting. I deserve to be punished. 2. He/she is disgusting. They deserve to be punished Both mindsets do not lead to peace, happiness, or healing. It’s war mentality, either raging at myself, or someone else. And war, only leads to death. Of course, my ego loves both stories. One would allow me to give up on sobriety, to start sleeping around, to smoke, to self harm, and destroy my life (again). The other makes me want to enter into a fight, to “win”, to prove myself, and for other people’s lives to be difficult. When either of these thought patterns present themselves, I actually say out loud “no thank you. Those thoughts do not serve me”. It works. We’re in control. Learning this is nothing short of a miracle! I have been called weak by some people around me. Questioned as to why I am not angry. Pushed into wanting revenge for those who only see my side. And that’s ok. These are all normal human reactions. This could be World War 3 if I wanted it to be. But I would rather it be something beautiful. Life, and it’s lessons, can always be something beautiful. If we choose it to be. Forgiveness isn’t weak. It’s strong. It reclaims your life and makes every day you practice it more beautiful. It is not my job to punish myself, nor others, for our mistakes. It is my job only to forgive. “Forgiveness does not erase the scar of betrayal, but it does at least close the wound.”
Roxanne Emery Jan 20, 2019
Tidying up. For me it has always been a ball ache. A chore I really couldn’t be bothered with. When I’ve lived in a tidy home, it’s been because the cleaner had been that day, or, someone else had done it. On the rare occasion I would clean up, it would be so overwhelming that I’d only really do half the job, and would be absolutely shattered afterwards. Maintaining a beautiful space always baffled me. How do people actually manage this?! Symptoms of needing some help with tidying include: •anxiety over mess •overwhelm with mess •wanting to hire someone to help •unpacked suitcases •half done washing •a sink full of washing up •unused storage boxes •unhung paintings •piles of letters you’ll “get to later” This was my life for a long time. Towards the end of 2018 I started to make some changes. The desire to honour my space grew, and I found myself waking up early to do a quick apartment clean. That desire has grown and grown. Today I watched possibly the most helpful show on this topic. “Tidying Up” with Marie Kondo. It’s available on Netflix and Episode one totally changed my mindset! Her methods are right up my street because they are spiritual (cue thanking your house in meditation before cleaning!), but also very applicable. I’ve spent the day re-organising my room and it feels amazing. Unpacking bags that contained years of clutter. Throwing out what I don’t need. Beautifully housing that which I do. Sacred spaces = more peace and more joy.
Roxanne Emery Jan 19, 2019
Think about somebody you love, but who needs to change in order to live a happier life. It’s perfectly ok to love someone, and desire them to change. I want you to visualise this person. Hold them in your heart with love. And list the things that would make their life happier... For example, the person who I want to make happier would: •drink less •smoke less •work out more •meditate more •read self help books •spend more time in nature •get control over emotions I want you to write out a note to your friend, partner, parent, whoever this person is, and list all of the things that would make them so much happier if they would just change. Please, take 2 minutes now to open Notes on your phone and write this list. Then come back. . . . . . . . . . Welcome back. Now, let us remember that the desire to change other people is an ego trick to take away our focus from changing ourselves. Please also remember that what we are affected by in others, and what we criticise, also exists in ourselves. We are most triggered by our own shadow and repressed nature. So, take the list of changes you would like to see in your loved one, and vigilantly apply that list to yourself. See any areas where you are lacking, or can do better. Changing other people is near on impossible. Changing ourselves is at our very finger tips. The best way to change someone you love is to change yourself. Shine a light. Keep your love on. Lead by example, and not by opinion.