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Blacklisted Me Aug 31, 2017
Going live on Instagram right now! @lexusamanda
Blacklisted Me Aug 04, 2017
Check out Neverfade they just came out with their first music video and I'm even in it for a second! 😉
Blacklisted Me Aug 03, 2017
Blacklisted Me Jul 23, 2017
SO MUCH SUICIDE! I don't just mean celebrities, but I've seen multiple people on my timeline post about how they've lost a loved one recently. I lost a good friend of mine to suicide in December as-well. SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER OR CURE. THERE IS ALWAYS WAY OUT OF DEPRESSION AND YOU CAN FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE. I know this is personal, and maybe some would say "too much information" but i don't care. I see so many depressing statuses and posts and i think that sharing my personal experience with depression with you might relate with some of you. I've suffered through physical abuse, mental abuse, rape, addiction to prescription pills, alcohol addiction, mental disorders (panic disorder, hypochondria, bulimia, anxiety, PTSD) , and neglect from my childhood to the age of 25 when i decided that i was going to start doing things differently in my life. I'm 27 now and I can truly say I'm recovering from my addictions and I'm working though my trauma in a healthy way. It's a never-ending battle but there ARE easier ways to cope and actually heal so the pain and problems become smaller and smaller. i can genuinely say I'm a generally happy person for the first time in my life. I used to act out in negative ways to cope with my depression. In return, my toxic way of dealing with trauma caused more and more problems in my life which caused even more depression. There were a lot of bad things that happened to me that i couldn't control, but there were also a lot of terrible things that happened that i caused on my own. That realization in itself was a huge eye-opener. I hate who i used to be, but I can't live in regret and i have to remember i had to experience certain things to become the great person i feel like I am today. I used to be attention starved. I was so obsessed with the idea of being famous because I thought that would mean people would finally love me. I would literally do anything for attention or for people to notice me. I didn't care how it would affect my reputation, my name, or how i affected people because i didn't care about myself. I would wake up with a beer and a hand full of pills every morning for years. (Sometimes champagne when i wanted to feel classy ;) ha. ) I made all my drama known and laid out for the world to see. I was a sad little girl struggling and screaming for help but no one could hear me. I went from victim to villain. I was never taught to respect myself growing up so I acted out and welcomed abusive relationships, friendships, and i would even abuse myself. I had moments where i wanted to kill myself, tried to kill myself, or wanted someone else to kill me or let me die. In the end I became my own worst enemy. It wasn't until i hit my own bottom that i realized i needed to get professional help. There was literally only two choices, Get better, or die. Making that choice and fighting for my life was the hardest thing I've ever done, especially when you're so used to the routine of misery. Happiness exists and I can't stress how important it is to ask for professional help when you're going through a major depression. Friends and family can only do so much. In fact, some friends and family I've had even ENABLED my bad and toxic behavior that was slowly killing me. A professional can go through the highlights of your life from the moment you were born to see where these issues stem from, and if they're triggered by experiences or a mental disorder. Either way, there IS a cure. I am so content with my life now because i found healthy relationships and got help outside of my bubble. TODAY I LOVE MYSELF. if you are suffering or can relate, my inbox is open. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT. i love you all <3
Blacklisted Me Jul 09, 2017
NEW MUSICCCCC!!!! check out a preview of my new song aswell as a make up tutorial
Blacklisted Me Jul 09, 2017
Blacklisted Me Jun 05, 2017
Guitar players, bass players, and drummers: i'm looking collaborations to write and perform! I'm Just finishing up my first single for my new music and I'm going to be putting together a band soon; shoot me a message!
Blacklisted Me May 14, 2017
Timeline Photos
Blacklisted Me May 06, 2017
Recording vocals
Blacklisted Me Apr 29, 2017
BTS in the studio
Blacklisted Me Apr 24, 2017
We begin recording tomorrow for a brand new band. We'll be releasing the Facebook and Instagram soon. Xox
Blacklisted Me Apr 21, 2017
In the studio!
Blacklisted Me Apr 20, 2017
New music is coming
Blacklisted Me Apr 07, 2017
I'm back
Blacklisted Me Apr 06, 2017
Back in the studio for a new band
Blacklisted Me Apr 02, 2017
Coming soon.... #newband #newmusic #alittledeadly
Blacklisted Me Apr 01, 2017
Time to open a new chapter.... what does this mean? Share to find out. Xo
Blacklisted Me Mar 25, 2017
Timeline Photos
Blacklisted Me Mar 23, 2017
have you heard my song "Die with me" ? if you haven't you can listen to it for free here> and it's also available on iTunes! https://youtu.be/Cpl73BC4w48
Blacklisted Me Mar 22, 2017
Timeline Photos
Blacklisted Me Mar 22, 2017
Blacklisted Me Mar 04, 2017
Timeline Photos
Blacklisted Me Feb 25, 2017
Timeline Photos
Blacklisted Me Feb 24, 2017
Timeline Photos